What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and...

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

What are the causes of over sweating?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Why cant I sleep even tho I am sleepy? I am not anxious or worried but my body just doesn't want to. I've been awake for almost 2 days and feel sleepy but I cant sleep. My doctor said its anxiety related but its not. Is this normal?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

TEXT:

Trump is at a moment of choosing as Israel looks for more US help crushing Iran's nuclear program - AP News

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Do intellectuals who peddle pseudoscientific tripe like simulation theory ever stop and think they are just dumb NPCs for Illuminati bot wars?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why is it easy to make money in the USA?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

All you need to know about 2025 MLB Draft Combine - MLB.com

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

If people in the UK hate Trump so much, why does he own golf courses there?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Why do wives cheat on their loyal husbands?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Scientists Reveal Easy Three-Step Plan to Terraform Mars - futurism.com

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Why is it that women are stronger than men nowadays?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.